Spoonerisms
Lighting Fires - Fighting Liars
Ease my tears - Tease my ears
A pack of lies - A lack of pies
It’s pouring with rain - It’s roaring with pain
Save the whales - Wave the sails
Flipping the Channel - Chipping the flannel
At the speed of light - At the lead of spite
Listen here - Hiss and lear
Go take a shower - Go and shake a tower
Cat flap - Flat cap
Bad salad - Sad ballad
Hope in your soul - Soap in your hole
Mean as custard - Keen as mustard
Plaster man - Master plan
Pleating and humming - Heating and plumbing
Snail tracks - Trail snacks
Tale of two cities - Sale of two titties
Rental Deceptionist - Dental Receptionist
Block of flats - Flock of bats
Doing the chores - Chewing the doors
Armed Forces - Farmed ‘orses
Rude
The acrobats displayed some ‘cunning stunts’.
Sir, you are certainly a ’shining wit’.
He fills her ’soul with hope’.
It’s the ‘Tale of Two Cities’.
Have you brought your ’sleeping bag’?
She is ’sure pretty’.
Have you seen her ’sick duck’?
Oh, the suffering of ‘purgery on my soul’!
He’s not a ‘pheasant plucker’.
She showed me her ‘tool kits’.
He’s a ’smart fella’.
A ‘hot pie’ would make me happy.
‘Fire truck’.
‘Overhead door’
That’s why they call him the ‘Cupid Stunt’
Own Found
Friar Tuck - Try a f*ck
Train Spotter - Spain Trotter
Nooks and Crannies - Crooks and Nannies
Dairylee - Lairy d
ScummBar - Bum Scar
Dog Food - Fog Dude
Miss my car - Kiss my ma
Fit Bird - Bit Furred
Punch the Man - Munch the Pan
Stay up late - Lay upstate
Get the Sun - Set the Gun
Go to the loo - ‘lo to the goo
Cool top -� Tall cop
Jitter Bug - Bitter Jug
Thai Bird - Bye Turd